Chelsea’s Entertainment Reviews

Black Christmas

F


Overall Rating = 2.62

I think just the title of this film will tell you just how much imagination was used to complete it. So… we thought that we’d change up the traditional Christmas a little bit, add a little something to the end of the night, and so we thought we’d go see Black Christmas since it came out on Christmas Day. I had seen previews for it on TV and it looked decent enough, although, the fact that the trailers showed nothing about the actually storyline should have been a give away that this movie was an ass-sucker. Alright, so originally I had no idea that this movie was a rip-off (and not a good one) of an older film by the same name. First of all Im going to comment of the acting, because i really dont have much to say about it… it just wasnt good. Its hard to talk about the plot of this story due to the lack there of. The only part of this movie worth following was the constant flashbacks to an earlier time, where there was something actually going on. Other than that it was just pointless, un-needed gore the entire time.

Spoilers ahead: don’t read if you havent seen the film

It starts out with a nasty scene with a woman getting her eyeball squeezed out of its socket, and that it pretty much the sum of the rest of the film. Its a story about a boy who is un-loved by his mother, and who witnesses first hand his mother brutally murdering his father (the only one who had ever cared about him). After that she locks him in the attic and and finds a boyfriend, who she calls his step-father. She tries to have a child with this man, but randomly he seems to fall asleep during sex, she gets fed up and sleeps with her son….I KNOW! She has his kid, which is also his sister and she is really messed up. The mother excessively loves the girl and tells her that she is her only family which sends the boy into a fury. He then kills the step father, rips out the eye of his baby sister/daughter and eats it. Kills his mother with a rolling-pin and then uses a cookie cutter to make shapes of the flesh on her back, puts the “flesh cookies” in the oven and eats them. As I told you earlier this is the only part of the film that you can possibly find continuous. Then he breaks out of jail, his daughter/sister follows him as they go on a killing rampage, slaughtering a houseful of sorority sisters on Christmas Eve. Top random unnessisary fillers that show the lack of creativity or imagination:
-The boy has a liver disease that in turn makes his skin yellow, and you never find out why that would be important
-The daughter/sister talks like a man
-They come back from the dead, with the ability to fake death, get past perimedics into the morgue in body bags to kill the people in the hospital
-Sex tape on the computer and random phone calls
-the entire murdering rampage
-Eve??? where did she come from and why was she in the car??? None of it makes sense!!!!
-The random boyfriend who shows up during certain scenes and then goes away again. I Black Christmasfollowed that it was a decoy to make you think that he was the killer which would be completely unplauible but his character was flat and frankly annoying. As well relating to the sex tape comment, his relations with more than one of the women is necessary…???
None of it makes any sense, and the more I think about the film the more I realize that it reminded me of a horrible B horror film with no substance. I wish I could find something good to say about this film, but all I can come up with… is that the make-up artists were good with the blood, brains, and eyeballs but again on the downside they lacked in the ability to make either of the two killers look real or even human. After looking around the web ive come to the conclusion, just from images that the original film already looks a fair amount better than the 2006 version.

2.62/10

B&R

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December 26, 2006 - Posted by | Movies

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